The Transformation of My Life - 2

Hello Friends !! Welcome back to the story of my life. I shouldn't say it to be a specific story of my life as it's just a part of a very big and complicated structure. But, yes there is something in it that forms a huge part of who I am now. Just the way they say that there are some important stages in a human's life I can say that after coming out of the first stage when I entered second stage of my life it was sort of dramatic enough to shake me like never before. I do not know to what should I attribute the way I was shook but mostly it seems to me that it was because I had entered an unfamiliar territory like the city of Chennai. When I first set foot in this city I was welcomed by a humid air around me just in contrast to the dry air that I was accustomed to. Well, I wasn't to know at that time that almost everything here would be in contrast to what I had always been accustomed to. And that process was what that shook me. 

Coming to Chennai was not the only factor but rather I was in such a stage that wherever I would have been I was sure to experience all the psychological effects but yes as I already said it came as dramatic.

Well, let me first begin with my weird and unique experiences with Chennai. Long time ago while I was just fourteen or so, my father would have gone to Chennai a couple of times for official purpose. He used to bring some goodies from there like a silk Chennai specific saree for my mom or one time he even brought special delicious sweets from there (which now are my top favorite sweet). Believe me, I used to look at all those goods with an awe of a bedazzled teenager who thought them to be so precious as if they directly came from a very famous foreign land and as if I would never get another chance to even look at them directly. Such was my image of the city of Chennai. Because I knew it was different from the rest of the India and had a very good scope for people who really wanted to make their mark in the field of academics. I had heard of many famous people hailing from Chennai (not necessarily from academics but yes with a spirit of a winner) like Viswanathan Anand, APJ Abdul Kalam and AR Rahaman to name a few and also there were many south Indians spread all over in very high positions. And this image is still maintained by this city which has been time and again proved by the difference in attitude of people belonging to Chennai and where I had been earlier which directly leads to a successful life and a life full of precious values. I can say this since I have seen both the contrasting attitudes and mindsets and immediately recognize the speaking difference. But, amidst all of my high profile image at that time I didn't have an iota of an idea that someday I would complete my studies from this very city.

So, this was a very long time back but when I first set my foot in Chennai I just knew there was definitely a stark difference in both the regions and this very difference led me to hate this city vehemently as a beginner. To begin with, I felt so different and as I mentioned previously an odd-man-out even while I was talking to a single person. Somehow, several things used to start running in my mind at once leading my immature mind to form baseless opinions (realized by me later) and ultimately thinking in a negative sense about everyone. I always used to feel as if the other person is mocking me for no reason. Hence the phrase odd-man-out. I never ever in my life felt even remotely like this at least while making a simple talk with a simple person !!! I didn't know and there was never any reason for feeling so, it was just that I was new to a new place. Apart from such silly feelings, there was another major thorn in my way which still has not left pinching me time and again. And that thorn, as everybody knows, is the language barrier. The first thing that strikes any new comer to Chennai is the magnificent Tamil language. Okay friends,before you take my sarcasm in a opposite direction let me explain that I call it magnificent because still I could not come to friendly terms with this language or in more simple terms could not learn it not even the basics even though I have spent four long years of my life among people chattering in Tamil continuously. To some extent, there are times when I get a gist of what is being said and thus a stand a bit higher in my level as compared to complete new comers but now is the time to compare me with those who are outsiders but even then fluent like a local. No, I didn't learn because I didn't try. I didn't try because I never felt myself interested. I never found myself interested because I never felt the need. I never felt the need because I got my work done with the help of my all time best friend English language much to my extreme discomfort and frustration in the process. Because it's definitely not easy to stay as an odd-man-out almost forever. Apart from this, I was never interested in socializing or gossiping which would have practically led me to learn the language without any deliberate effort. So, there goes the winner bagging the first award for not letting me get emotionally involved with this city and hence constantly provoking me to day dream about that occasion when I would finally step out of my bond with it. But yes, thankfully, there is no feeling of the so called hate unlike in the very beginning and now I have begun looking at this city with the same image that I held as a teenager. But, if I imagine a scenario where I would be completely comfortable with Tamil, I can say that I would have developed a heartfelt relationship with Chennai and it would have been no different than my own home away from home and I would never have called it like a foreign city separate from the rest of India. But, if that was the case, surely nothing would have shaken me and led me to some bitter and self-realization experiences. Well, it seems nothing beats the fact that God reserves something good in every kind of happening.   

This wasn't a story as much as my experience with the city of Chennai. But the biggest weird advantage of coming here is my increased, closer and special relationship with my family. You would have thought that how is that but inexplicably it made me even more closer and in a more understanding situation with my family. Perhaps, it was because we all are literally cut off from our relatives and friends in north like never before. While all of them lived a normal uneventful life, we had no one but ourselves in our family to support each other in the toughest of times. There was something for all of us here. 

I would have never got anything to write under this heading if I had not become a member of Chennai. Because now everything related to me is about Chennai. Oh c'mon, I have spent my entire college life here which is taken to be the best part of one's life. Yes, this experience was self realizing and testing but when I look back I don't fail to bring a smug smile on my face. 

The Transformation of My Life - 1

Whenever I think of posting something new in my blog I think meticulously about the topic that I should write  about to share with everyone not wanting to be whimsical or random. But today, I am not keeping any inhibitions about my writing and sitting with my laptop I decided to write as spontaneously as my thoughts come. One reason for this might be the environment under which I am living nowadays. I am in my final year doing a very fine course in Information Technology and as the usual course of action for final year students this point of time coincides with the placement season. At the very first day of joining college, this placement season was thought of with a unique awe and wonder making me take a firm and highly inspired resolution to channelize all of my youthful energy and determination to single goal of getting placed in the best company possible trying my level best to do so. Basically, this placement season was the very reason for which I became the student of Anna University. 

To fill you in about my history, I was a very normal student studying in Delhi and then Kanpur during my school days aspiring to take up my higher education just like my other classmates. But, as fate would have it my father got his inevitable transfer to a very unknown and suspicious place like Chennai. Not that my fate was sealed just because my family had to go there. I was free to decide whether I wanted to stay there with them or go over to that place where my classmates went. But, with the only difference that I didn't make an informed use of my freedom of decision. This might imply that I took a wrong decision. But, let me make it very clear that I do not think that this was a wrong decision. A wrong decision can lead to many other unwanted consequences. For example, in my case, I could have taken admission to a college which in no way suited my abilities or what I thought I deserved. At least I can be thankful for that. But, what I didn't know at that time was that I was choosing a college in Chennai. Or, to be more specific, the most sought after college in south India. Yes, note the words south India.

I was just a kid when I first came to Chennai. Yes, a nineteen year old kid who had not experienced the feeling of being left out alone as a odd-man-out in a group of people. The moment I entered Anna University, this prestigious college invited me to become an esteemed member of the engineering batch of Chemical Engineering. I even joined one week classes of that batch. But, fate had something else stored for me and finally it made me land in the world of simple Masters in Information Technology. There were several reasons that made me choose that as my final option. First, it was all about Information Technology, the field where I always wanted to go since I gained my consciousness. This was way too irresistible an offer. Second, I was very near to my parents and could easily avoid the unnecessary hassles of staying in hostel and tolerating the so called horrible mess food along with other complications of the earnest desire to be at home with my family during festivals or any other holidays by travelling so long a distance to Chennai from Delhi not withstanding and ignoring the advantages that a hostel life can provide (A sad realization made by me countless times). Third, everybody in our new neighborhood had gawked at me with their mouth open when they came to know about my association with Anna University not believing their ears and consistently making awesome remarks about my extraordinary fortune making me and my family(literally) force to think that somehow I had reached the after-life heaven with a direct association with the Almighty without dying !!! Jokes apart, certain over-zealous people had sincerely made intense requests to not even consider the thought of rejecting Anna University in our remotest of thoughts. We, being new to Chennai and Anna University sincerely believed them and earnestly made the final decision of going for this course in this college supported by the highly flattering all India rank of College of Engineering displayed in leading websites and magazines at that time. 

So, that is how I ended up being a prestigious member of this prestigious university which is considered to be no less than the elite IITs. As an obvious afterthought, I began dreaming of being in a highly reputed and so called dream company one day as a result of being a CEGian. And, the point to transform that dream to reality has come now at present spanning full four years (a very long time indeed) from that Anika to this Anika. That Anika was a fresher that had just come out of the school environment being a timid and not-so-sure of herself girl without any knowledge of how should she live her life but had been ready to just go with the flow. This Anika now doesn't want to go with the flow but wants to understand her capabilities and end up doing something that allows her to balance everything that matters. That 'everything' includes little things that amount to a successful life, which, are often ignored by most but are the most important to me in an inexplicable manner.

Now, when I look at myself, I clearly do not want to do something which I cannot do happily. By this, I did not mean that I doubt my capability which I always believed myself to have even when I scored above ninety percent in my class twelfth till now but just that being a part of a dream company is not everything, its just the only thing. Your priorities change with time and what is most important for me is to live my life as a complete human being. 

That said, now I start doubting whether I will get even a mediocre company or not going by what suitable knowledge I have to do so and of course by spending my time writing blogs and relatively wasting my time while all my friends are busy preparing for their placements. Somehow, several other things start seeming so important at once when you actually are supposed to do the most important task which is automatically being ignored.

This was what I think has happened in my life in these four years from school to college. But, there is more to it than what it seems to be. And, definitely there will be more to come but there are certain other facts that I would like to mention to make this blog post complete. 
To be Continued.